Maata Lawlor’s journey out of addiction began in April 2023 after struggling with drugs and alcohol for 27 years.
“I was able to manage for a long time until about a few years back, when I pretty much lost everything. I lost my house, I lost my husband... [then] I decided I needed help.
“My husband had passed away from the [alcoholism] and I got scared. I got really scared. I didn't want to pass away the way he did — alone and drunk. I was really scared of that happening because my life was spiralling down.
“So I lost a lot of things very important to me," she said. "So, after my husband passed away, I decided to reach out for help.”
Lawlor reached out to mental health services in Iqaluit, They agreed upon treatment plan whereby she would go to a specialized facility for Nunavummiut in British Columbia for 27 days.
“In the past, I had gone to treatment a couple times... and it didn't work,” recalled Lawlor. “I wasn't ready. I wasn't willing to do the work.”
“I didn't go to AA. I didn't continue with my session. So this time around, I reached out for help myself. Nobody was forcing me to go. I think everybody thought I was a lost cause. I didn't want to be one of those lost causes. I didn't want to live that life anymore. I didn't want to die in my addiction.
“I wanted my life back. I wanted my family back,” she said. “I knew I would never get my husband back because he passed away. I just wanted to get some help, and I did. The process was a lot quicker than I thought it would be.”
Treatment and recovery
Lawlor was approved for treatment within a few months, and departed for B.C. in September 2023.
“When I was leaving [for B.C.], I was very desperate. I didn't want to live anymore. I was nervous about going," she recalled. "Obviously, I'm from here. I grew up in Kimmirut, in a small town, and I’ve lived here in Iqaluit for almost 20 years. So it was a big change. When I was leaving, my plan was just to get the help that I needed and come back as soon as possible. I was in treatment for 72 days, and I still felt like I needed more help, so I decided to go to a second stage, which is a sober living building with, at times, up to nine other women.”
The purpose of a sober living house is to slowly integrate those with addictions back into society without them becoming overwhelmed. Occupants are still encouraged to attend daily AA meetings.
“I had the ladies that were trying to do the same thing I was. And we had a house manager, who is also in the program. Also, just a couple doors down, they also have a men's house, which was big because there were a few other Nunavummiut there as well. So I was very lucky in that sense because I had others who understood my language, who understood the way of life up here."
Lawlor also began to work with a sponsor and found other sources of support.
“Before coming back up, I, found out they have AA meetings here [in Iqaluit] too," she said. "Everyone I had been surrounded with encouraged me to continue on with being involved with AA.”
Since returning, Lawlor has attended every AA meeting in Iqaluit with the exception of one.
“I find it really helped... Up until a few years ago, I was what they call a functioning alcoholic. I was able to hold down a job. I was able to hold down my family. I didn't have any other issues... Like, I really didn't stop drinking, but I was able to drink in a way that I could control it.”
When the Covid-19 pandemic emerged, Lawlor was separated from her husband and lost her job. Circumstances were hard to cope with, and she began to rely more on alcohol, which led to drugs.
“And that just made things worse," she said.
'Putting the work in'
Since returning to Iqaluit in September, Lawlor has transitioned from living in a shelter to staying temporarily in a hotel with support from the mental health program. She's also in the process of retraining to return to her old job, and hopes to have both stable employment and a permanent residence within the next year.
For the future, she is “trying to live this sober life, so it's a bit challenging at times, but through the AA program, it's a whole lot easier,” and she gives her counsellor tremendous credit.
“I'm one of the fortunate ones [for whom] things are happening pretty quickly. In AA, there's a saying, ‘Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.’ And right now, things are happening quickly, and to be honest, I get a bit overwhelmed because I haven't had any responsibilities in such a long time... but I am very grateful that I am going down this path... Everyone's very supportive and I'm very fortunate to have that.”
From all of this struggle and recovery, she said she has learned that being honest and open with her challenges while accepting them has been a crucial part of the healing process.
“I know it's not going to happen overnight, but it will eventually happen. If I keep putting the work in.”
In Iqaluit, AA meetings are held at the Wellness Centre (building 794) every Tuesday and Friday evening. at 7:30 p.m.
"We're a pretty friendly group," says Lawlor. "I encourage you to come check us out."
