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Still coping with the loss of parents

Sam Tutanuak was only 21 when he no longer had a mom or dad

The holiday season often brings back memories of loved ones.

And, like many folks, Sam Tutanuak spent time with the bitter-sweet memories of his mom and dad.

Tutanuak, 57, now in Iqaluit, lived 51 of his years in the Kivalliq, spending 19 years in Baker Lake and 32 in Rankin Inlet.

He said the loss of his parents — Michael and Marjorie — made the biggest impact on his life during those years.

He lost both of his parents by the age of 21.

“Not being able to get advice or direction from my parents any longer had a major impact on my life,” said Tutanuak. “Not being able to show off my children to my parents was really tough, although my mom did get to see my daughter at a very young age.

“I didn't really run a lot of stuff past my dad. My father was very low-key and didn't speak much. He was more action-orientated than speaking.

“I actually did more talking with my mom.”

Tutanuak said it always left a kind of empty feeling inside of him any time anything big happened in his life after his parents were gone.

He said not being able to share good news or life-changing events was sometimes difficult, but, thankfully, he had siblings who he was able to share things with.

“I've had several moments when something good would happen and my first impulse was to call my parents to tell them about it," he said.

“And, way before Facebook and texting, I'd often lose phone numbers of friends and family members and have to figure out how to contact them with my news.

“Once the internet was established, everything got smaller, but smaller doesn't necessarily always mean easier. I lost a biological cousin about two weeks ago. He had a heart attack and he was a lot younger than me. To read about that rather than receiving a phone call was a bit of a shock.

“The world has definitely gotten smaller.”

Tutanuak said he tried to keep in touch with his parents regularly, but would sometimes forget, or put it off, for awhile.

He said when his mom was still alive, he would try to communicate with her at least once a week after he moved to Rankin Inlet from Baker Lake.

“There was a little bit of guilt involved at times when I forgot to call home for awhile. This New Year's Day I finally did a four-way conversation by phone with my three siblings I have left (older brother Thomas, sister Emily and younger brother Ronnie).

“It was so nice to have that conversation like we were in the same room.

“My dad passed away when I was 16 and my mom when I was 21.

“To be honest, I don't have an answer for how long it took me to adjust after their passing — if I ever did.”



About the Author: Darrell Greer, Local Journalism Initiative

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